Akuyaku Reijo Ni Koi Wo Shite 107th Update!

So, this chapter reminded me of that one comedic routine. Very inappropriate, offended all kinds of people. Couldn’t tell why, really. Just look at this very educational exchange below. It teaches you that practice is bad, the facilities are no longer nice, and it’s all about the proper location. Simply priceless fount of wisdom!

Achmed: (…) Knock-knock !
JD: Who’s there ?
Achmed: Me. I kill you.
JD: So look, as a suicide-bomber have you had a training ?
Achmed: Of course we have the suicide-bomber training camp.
JD: Ah ! Is there a nice facility ?
Achmed: It used to be…
JD: What happened ?
Achmed: New guy… the idiot kinda practiced!
JD: What do you guys learned from that ?
Achmed: Location, location, location.

Excuse me for not linking to the source, I recall this being banned in some of the Muslim countries. No need to trigger the censors needlessly.

On an unrelated note – we’re out of stockpile, so the next chapter will take a while. Second half of September probably.

Pete

Akuyaku Reijo Ni Koi Wo Shite 105th Update!

I remember there was a fluffy white creature involved in my riddles in the past, but I can’t quite recall what manner of being it was exactly. Shame. Maybe it would help me make sense of the story below.

One day, a Snake, a Bunny, and a Banker went into a bar.
“Beware the Jabberwock, my friend!” said the Bunny to the Banker. “The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious Bandersnatch!”
The Snake, hearing this, downed his bottle in one swig and grumbled with regret, “Here I go again on my own…”

Akuyaku Reijo Ni Koi Wo Shite 104th Update!

LAUNCELOT: Well taken, Concorde!

CONCORDE: Thank you, sir! Most kind.

LAUNCELOT: And again… Over we go! Good. Steady! And now, the big one…Ooof! Come on, Concorde!

[thwonk]

CONCORDE: Message for you, sir.

[fwump]

LAUNCELOT: Concorde! Concorde, speak to me! “To whoever finds this note, I have been imprisoned by my father, who wishes me to marry against my will. Please, please, please come and rescue me. I am in the tall tower of Swamp Castle.” At last! A call, a cry of distress! This could be the sign that leads us to the Holy Grail! …Brave, brave Concorde! You shall not have died in vain!

CONCORDE: Uh, I’m-I’m not quite dead, sir.

LAUNCELOT: Well, you shall not have been mortally wounded in vain!

CONCORDE: Uh, I-I think uh, I could pull through, sir.

LAUNCELOT: Oh, I see.

CONCORDE: Actually, I think I’m all right to come with you–

LAUNCELOT: No, no, sweet Concorde! Stay here! I will send help as soon as I have accomplished a daring and heroic rescue in my own particular… (sigh)

CONCORDE: Idiom, sir?

LAUNCELOT: Idiom!

CONCORDE: No, I feel fine, actually, sir.

LAUNCELOT: Farewell, sweet Concorde!

CONCORDE: I’ll-uh, I’ll just stay here, then, shall I, sir? Yeah.

——————————————————————

Hi,

It’s us. We’re not quite dead yet ( though the Summer is certainly trying ).

Enjoy,

Pete

Akuyaku Reijo Ni Koi Wo Shite 103rd Update!

Well, here’s the one for June. We might squeeze out 104 this month too, but it’s longer than usual, and less fun than usual. So, who knows.

Sometimes what you read makes you realise you’re old. This chapter did that to me. Curse you, Ayato-sensei! ( but just a bit )

One link only this time, but you may want to have your javascript on and wait for the countdown to finish. Just sayin.

Chapter.

She hates time make it stop
When did Motley Crue become classic rock?
And when did Ozzy become an actor?
Please make this
Stop! Stop! Stop!
And bring back
Springsteen, Madonna
Way before Nirvana
There was U2 and Blondie
And music still on MTV
Her two kids in high school
They tell her that she’s uncool
‘Cause she’s still preoccupied
with 1985

Akuyaku Reijo Ni Koi Wo Shite 102nd Update!

*innocent whistling*

Checks date.

*innocent whistling*

Welcome back everyone to our usual, scheduled UPDATE for the month of May, in which absolutely nothing went wrong. A translator vanished. Maybe two. You know, the usual.

But then one of them reappeared after a mere two months of radio silence, so all is fine in the world. The circle of life, like in the song:

It’s the circle of life

And it moves us all

When translator appears

While another just dies

So, RIP Enori. This chapter, in BLOCK CAPITALS, comes to you courtesy of Aaron. Edited by your’s truly. Quality-checked by Myuuchi, who managed not to be blamed for failing the deadline by a whisker.

P.S. There is a decent chance for two chapters in June, but no promises.

Pete.

Akuyaku Reijo Ni Koi Wo Shite 101st Update!

I bet you didn’t expect this so soon. But I heard you guys were all about Maria ( was it love, or hate with pitchforks and torches…? damn if I remember ), so who am I to deny you.

Here’s more Maria. A lot more Maria.

Well, “here” is relative. Look under the line, where the comments lie.

Have a fragment of a poem about a bad witch as an outro. I wonder why does that seem appropriate..

Bad Witch
 
She was a witch, as in days of yore
She’d cast a spell and make you sore
If she smiled, babies would scream
To ruin mankind, her evil dream
 
She was really mean, of this be sure
She’d steal your soul if it was pure
She’d cast a spell and rip it free
Then seal it up in pottery
 
She really was evil, you thought I lied?
Whenever she sneezed an angel died

 
Chapter ?!
Chapter !?

Akuyaku Reijo Ni Koi Wo Shite 100th Update!

Yay! Three digits! And technically it’s still March _-_

Anyhow, since we somehow managed to finish this chapter ( bless you Myuuchi ), here you go. The ridd—

ATTENTION!

We, the glorious Aqua cult, will no longer tolerate being relegated to the sidelines of this blog. We shall be the butt of poor April Fools jokes no longer! Can you even imagine how badly our Goddess is being treated? How hard is it for her to be less liked than a stupid cat? Just look at her.

You lot made her cry!

So we’re taking over. This is a REVOLUTION.

You’re not getting your stupid story until the greatest of them all is happy again. And that won’t happen unless enough of you move your lazy asses and go to vote Aqua!

HAIL THE GODDESS!

VOTE AQUA!

Akuyaku Reijo Ni Koi Wo Shite 98th Update!

This is not The Greatest News in the World, no.
This is just a release.

News:

*) Soo, since life stopped chewing me up and decided to spit me back out, we’re probably no longer on a hiatus.

*)That said, for a while we’re not on a schedule either. There should be a chapter a month at least. There might be more.

*)Chapters 92 – 97 have been re-edited over the last month. You may want to give them another spin and, frankly, everyone could use a refresher on the story after all this time.

*)Aaron, we got your message but your mailbox is full and our replies bounce. Hit us up on Discord please.

Olds:

Remember this guy?

He’s been lonely. Give him a pat before you try to read stuff